Lauryn Williams:
Welcome, welcome back everybody. I know it has been a while.

You guys have missed me, but I am now somebody's mama. So pat me on the back, congratulate me. I know that you all want to see cute little pictures of her.

You're gonna have to go to my website. You can't see pictures on the podcast. That's just the way it is.

So Arya was born on May 24th, and at the time of this recording, she is about four and a half months old. So, depending on when you listen, she might already be five months. She might be eating.


I'll be keeping you guys updated as we go through the series, but surprise, surprise, as we come back to the podcast we are gonna do a series on “momming” because yeah, why not? I became a mom and it has financial implications in my life. There's things that you just can't speak to as well until you've experienced them, and now I am here experiencing them live and in living color, and we're gonna go through these things together. So, this series is all things moms and money, and those who don't want to be moms as well.

We'll get to that in a second though. So, we're starting this show with Chloe. You know none other than my favorite CFP bestie and we are gonna be talking today all things what to do before you have a child.

So sometimes people just do what they do, and then there's a baby on the way, and there's not a lot of time to prepare. Well, you get the nine months before the baby arrives or nine-ish months until the baby arrives, but the reality is we should be financial planning for all aspects of our lives, and there are a lot of people that are actually spending a lot of time and effort putting into organizing, figuring out how they're going to create a child. You know, there are same-sex couples that just can't you know up and do it whenever they want, and there's cost implications related to that.

There are other people that you know are having various issues and are having to plan, you know, and spend dollars related to those things. In any light, though, regardless of what your situation is, you should prepare as best you can, and preparing is doing the things before they happen, not after. Once you are in the mix, like the baby is here, there's no more time to prepare.

You just figure it  out as you go. I can speak from experience. There's a lot that I am still figuring out as I go.

So welcome to another episode of the Know Better Do Better series. Like I said this one is entitled Preparing for Children and Chloe I know you've been quiet for a second. You're like are you gonna let me in Lauryn? Am I gonna be on this podcast with you?

Chloe Moore:
​Hey everybody.

Lauryn Williams:
Yes, yes welcome to the show. It's been a while. I'm so glad we're back though and that we are getting to give people all the tea about how to prepare for having children and speaking of tea anybody who's listened to this podcast before knows that we start with trends, taxes, and tea.

You know let you know what's going on in the world, how to save money on taxes, what's the latest trends or sometimes we just give you a little gossipy tea. So Chloe, what do you have for us today?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah so today we actually have a little bit of tax information. So the one big beautiful bill act or OBBBA that was passed in July of this year and it includes many benefits for families.

So one of the things is that increases the child tax credit by $200 for each child under 17. So the new maximum per child credit is $2,200, and it used to be $2,000. So it's also going to be adjusted for inflation, and it's partially refundable.

So there are some phase-outs if you're a higher income but that's like another benefit that was expanded. It also expanded the use of funds for non-tuition qualified expenses for K through 12 costs, such as books, online learning materials, tutoring fees, and then for some of us, you know, we have our CFP designation. So for some of those kinds of educational costs, as well as certifications, you can also get reimbursements for those kinds of programs, beginning this year.

Lauryn Williams:
This is exciting. So I mean there's various sides of the fence. We're not gonna get political but I know a lot of people are not happy about some of the things that have been put in this OBBBA.

There's a lot to say. I've been saying OBBB like I didn't even know there was it well I guess I did know there was A on the end but anyways. But there's some good things here.

These are things that will help and benefit people. So a higher child tax credit especially as like I said a mother of somebody now I gotta figure out how to tax credit works and a refundable part of it also makes a big deal because sometimes not all credits are refundable. That's the the key piece of the puzzle right? And so this is great that you could actually get money back if you are eligible for it.

Now you know if you're rich they frequently don't do a lot of things. You know you just got to pay your bills and move on with life. But yeah this is good news.

Go ahead tell me the rest.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah so there are some other elements like adoption tax credit, some savings accounts for children and things like that. But without going into a lot of detail we'll put some a link in the show notes that explains every single part of the bill that relates to children.

Lauryn Williams:
That sounds lovely. So yeah there might be some things that you've heard that were not positive but there are some things that are positive for some people coming out of this new bill. So pay attention, be aware and know how the benefits could benefit you.

Alright, on to the main topic. Like I said how do we prepare for children? Not how do we prepare to make the babies. That's not what this episode is about.

How do we prepare for their arrival? Alright, so now we're on to the main topic, and it is all things preparing for children. And when I think of preparing for children like I said sometimes you're already in the mix. You're pregnant.

You're like oh my god what do I need to do? And if you're pregnant, you're tired. You're nauseous. You think that you have time, but this baby will be here before you know it.

So I don't want to scare you. I don't want to tell you to hurry up, but also hurry up. Because for me, I thought my daughter was gonna arrive on June 11th or somewhere around that time.

I thought she was gonna come early because we know that like due dates are not exact dates. But I was not expecting to wake up one morning feeling completely fine. Have my blood pressure be a little bit high because I was taking it every day because I was at high risk for preeclampsia.

I headed off to a doctor's appointment that was already scheduled. By the time I got to the doctor they were like girl what kind of blood pressure is this? Go to the emergency room. And then I was induced the next day.

So like I said, that doesn't have to be your story without you getting all the drama. Really it wasn't a dramatic thing. I just got induced.

I had her. Had her naturally. Had her without drugs.

Was super happy about all of that. Had a really good birthing experience. But the point was, I did not know when she was going to arrive, and I was completely caught off guard when I was going about my normal Friday three weeks before she was born.

And then the next day, I was somebody's mama. So while the reason I'm bringing it up is to tell you, don't wait till the last minute to start getting things in motion on the days that you do feel good. The days that you're not nauseous.

You know the days that you can make the most of them. Because parenting starts now. Even the decisions you're making with your body.

The choices that you're making as far as what you eat. When you sleep. What environment you're going to raise your child in.

You know the nesting phase. All of that matters. So it starts by getting yourself together ahead of schedule.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah definitely. And it's always good to just think about, you know, as much as you can beforehand. Because, as I saw firsthand, I went to visit Lauren two months in, and it's a lot.

So you know you don't have a lot of time to even think straight or get a full night's sleep. So you definitely don't have time to think about your finances. That goes on the back burner.

Lauryn Williams:
Alright so if we're thinking about our finances. I mean everything starts with our big bad B word. Which is not a bad word at all.

The budget. You know what is going to happen with your cash flow. One thing I definitely recommend having is a baby fund.

So like I said it doesn't matter if you're already pregnant or if you're thinking about getting pregnant. Getting some money set aside specifically for the baby is the best thing that you can do for yourself. And when I say baby fund it's like oh we have emergency funds.

We have you know some people call sinking funds. We have travel funds. You know everybody's got a bucket for something.

This is the miscellaneous baby bucket. And you need to plan as much as you can and budget for as much as you can. There's tons of resources online.

Things to be thinking about like as it relates to the expenses for babies. But when I think about the baby fund it covers the stuff you don't know that you're gonna need. So it is kind of an emergency fund.

So as an example one of the things for me is I plan to breastfeed but I wasn't making enough milk. So I had to supplement with formula. Well, formula comes at a cost.

I picked a bougie formula. So $44 a can. Not the cheapest because I wanted to do organic and this and that.

And I did all this research. But then it's like you got to boil the water. You got to you know put the scoops just right and do all these things.

So guess what I needed next? A formula machine. I have that little what is it like what's the thing called the Keurig for baby formula. And I don't regret it at all.

It's the best $300 that I've spent. But I had gotten pretty much everything I needed, or so I thought, via my registry. You know gifts for mothers.

Preparations in advance. I have a sister that has a baby. A daughter that's one year older than mine.

So I got a lot of hand-me-downs. And so there are going to be things that you don't know that you're gonna need. And that's where the baby fund comes in handy.

Otherwise you can end up throwing yourself way off because $300 is not cheap for a formula machine.

Chloe Moore:

Yeah and when I talk to clients about this we we definitely try to just think of a lump sum number that we can put into this baby fund. There's gonna be one-time expenses and then there'll also be recurring expenses that come up that maybe you didn't think about or factor into the budget as well.

So just coming up with some kind of number based on some research. Talking to friends and family. People who've had babies recently and kind of know what to expect.

All of that can really help you come up with the number that works for you.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah, speaking of like the recurring expenses versus the one-time expenses. One that's kind of like a one-time reoccurring expense.

You're like, wait, what? Is a night nurse. So it's recurring for however long you want to have that night nurse. But it's not something that you're gonna have forever.

Usually, people get a night nurse because, you know, they're sleep deprived, and they're like I got to go to work. Or I'm done with maternity leave. Or I just I value my sleep and I can't operate like this.

It's a real thing. I did do some research on what it looks like to get a night nurse in America. And it's basically $250 per night.

And most people that are doing a night nurse are doing it three times a week. So you're spending $750 per week in order to be able to get yourself some rest. That is a pretty penny to be putting towards something.

And like I said, while it's a set period of time that you're gonna be doing it. So it'll be a one-time expense in that regard. It will be recurring for however long you decide.

Maybe you do that for a month. Maybe you do it for two or three months. Maybe you flee the country and come to Colombia, where a night nurse is $500 a month and they come every night.

You know, but you definitely want to be thinking about things like that in advance. Like, what kind of person are you? What kind of sleep do you want to get? What kind of help do you need? Whether it's a nanny. You know if it's a relative that doesn't work that is retired.

They may just need a flight to get here. Or get you know, get to wherever you are to be able to care for your child. And you know you provide food, but then the grocery cost is up.

These are all little things that we don't take into account. Because, yeah, food costs money, and feeding one more person does cost a little bit more. And two more people and so on and so forth.

So make sure you have that baby fund.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, one thing is just think about the village that you have. You know a lot of times people live far away from their families.

We don't have the same communities that we might have had growing up. And so you know if you're in an area where your parents aren't in the same city or aren't in the same neighborhood or nearby. And you don't have any siblings or other people that can help out.

Then you know your costs are gonna be a lot more expensive than if you have people who can possibly help.

Lauryn Williams:
100%. You know they say it takes a village to raise a child.

And baby let me tell you. I don't know what I would do without 57 other people helping me. Because yeah it's just not something that any one person can do.

So speaking of the village that it takes to raise a child. Also, sometimes takes a village to create a child. And so the next thing that I want you to be thinking about as we you know think about preparing for children is fertility treatments.

Like I said we have same-sex couples that you know are using a non-traditional path maybe to create children. And then there's also people that are having a hard time. And it seems now more than ever, fertility treatments.

And you know, because we're having children later, they talk about us Millennials. I'm 42 and my daughter is four months old. That things like fertility treatments are coming quite the norm.

But they're also not cheap. Not free. This is where we talk about employer benefits and reading the fine print.

And seeing if those things that you know that's something that's on your list of things to do. And you're trying to decide between two jobs. You might take the job that has better health care as it relates to fertility treatments.

Because it can get pretty pricey trying to create that child.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and even adoption could be expensive. You know if that's the route that you take.

So, just depending on you know how you go about doing that, it could also be very expensive as well.

Lauryn Williams:
And I just brought up insurance. So like I said what kind of insurance you have matters as it relates to having a child.

Because you know the worse your insurance is the more it's gonna cost you. And I've seen around like $3,000 seems to be the average cost even with insurance what you end up paying out-of-pocket for childbirth in America.

And that was the cost for me to pay completely out-of-pocket in Colombia. I did end up around like $5,500 of expenses because I had to go back to the hospital afterwards. So total cost out-of-pocket.

But then I found out that my insurance, I have a digital nomad insurance and it covered everything. So I got lucky in that regard.

But do realize that they're going to be expenses related to going to the hospital. You know you might have other stays in between or before your child is born. And so those are additional expenses that add up over time.

Insurance covers this but they don't cover that. And or you need to wait for reimbursement. Or you got to fight to get your reimbursement.

So having that baby fund to be able to kind of bridge the gap versus having to write that check and not having any other way to cover it. Or you know now your mortgage is due and that hospital check was due at the same time. And you're feeling like you're in a pinch for the month.

Having funds or creating a budget that is going to take into account what possible hospital expenses could be is going to be a key piece of the puzzle.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah and so some of the ways that you can get a little bit of help is by you know registry and having a baby shower or things like that. But that doesn't always cover everything.

So I know you can talk about that Lauryn.

Lauryn Williams:
Oh honey baby. This is what I'll say about a registry and I mean a baby shower actually.

Is that it's a fun time. Like you want to get people together. You want to celebrate this exciting moment in your life.

But it can also get pretty pricey. And now more than ever, people are getting fancier and fancier. Balloon arches.

Let me just tell you don't have a balloon arch at your baby shower. Like, I'm just gonna put it out there. I did not have a good balloon arch experience, and it was not worth the money.

And I think that broke my bank. You know I had a great budget for my baby shower, and then that busted the budget. And also was not worth it because it was a windy day.

Okay I'm going down a rabbit hole. But what I want to say about baby showers is be careful that you don't spend more on the baby shower than what you would have spent to buy all that stuff by yourself, and just have it sent to the house. Because that's what I think actually happens.

Like I said, it's okay to spend money on your friends and your family and a party, and you know, celebrating and being together. But you also, like I said, have a new little bundle of joy or maybe two or three bundles of joy coming your way. And it's gonna get real.

So I don't want you to look back on your baby shower and think of that as a regret. And like I wish I would have bought more diapers with that money instead. Yeah, Chloe brought up a good point too about the registry.

Making sure that you have one is important because people will ask as soon as you're pregnant they will say like where's the registry. Like if they don't even care about the baby shower they will just send something. People love purchasing for the baby.

Let them be great. Get your registry together. Have that link in your phone.

Have it saved because that's a great way to save money on stuff. Even if it's just diapers. Like what I started out with was just putting diapers on my registry.

And then, as people told me about items, I started to add those items. And then I sat down, finally, you know, four or five months in, with my sister and did like a full registry. But get that link together.

You know, I will also say that clothing sizes are a lie. A complete lie. So just order a little bit of everything.

Also, don't forget to get the preemie stuff. So you may come with the big baby right out the gate, but I'll tell you you're gonna be scrambling to figure out what to put on your child if you don't have any preemie clothes. Just get like two or three little preemie outfits.

Two or three little newborn outfits and then you know you can purchase the other things at a higher amount.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah and this is a time where it's really good to lean on you know siblings or friends who've had babies recently and kind of know what you should register for. Because if this is your first time you might not think to register for all the things that you could possibly need.

Lauryn Williams:
Absolutely yeah I had no idea what I was doing. So like you said don't be afraid to ask for help. I actually think I'm gonna make a blog or something about it as well.

There are a lot of resources out there, but for all the things that exist, you know, there are some things that you just don't know you need. So maybe I'll do like here's the 20 things I didn't know that I needed that I needed.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and I know some people like to, you know, set up college funds and things like that, especially before the baby comes.

I often I mean you know it's not a bad idea to do that but I often want to make sure we I know we've probably talked about this before you want to make sure you put your mask on first that you're secure you have enough money to take care of your family the baby that's coming that you're set up for saving for retirement before you start prioritizing college fund. So if other people want to, you know, give to that, then that's something that you could definitely be set up. But put it in perspective with what your other priorities might be or what you might need right now.

Lauryn Williams:
Absolutely, so you know a lot of people are like invest invest invest invest invest, and they're not thinking about, like you said, their credit card debt, and they're putting money in a Robin Hood account. This is the same thing we do not want you setting up a 529 plan when you're not on track for retirement, and you don't have anything that you need to be okay you know financially or like I said you're in a bunch of credit card debt. But the truth of the matter is too like the 529 plan could be a great thing for the baby shower.

I know Chloe and I have gone back and forth with the pros and cons of setting up a 529 planning in advanced and I think one of the biggest risk is switching back to the proper beneficiary at the right time. So if your baby's not born, they can't have a 529 plan in their name. So what you would do is set up a 529 plan in your name, and then once your child is born, you would need to switch it to their name.

And I think sometimes people are not very diligent about that happening. What other pros and cons are you thinking about with the 529 plans? I know it's not your favorite thing in the world to do in advance.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, I mean, I'd say the biggest thing is just you know, think about it in perspective with your other financial priorities, and what you need most, you know, right now, and then for your retirement, and then for the kid.

It's definitely something you know if you wait nine months until the baby's here, and it's even started, then it's not gonna make that big of a difference.

Lauryn Williams:
Mm-hmm for sure for sure. So I mean it's all about being strategic that's what I would say.

Even with like gender reveals and things like that like if you're gonna do those parties try to make them work to your benefit. And so what we did for my gender reveal was a diaper raffle and that was excellent. I have only had to buy once again, preemie diapers, I had to buy those like size zeros because everybody's like you don't need a lot of those babies grow so fast but you don't know if your baby's gonna be small or not.

So I had to buy preemie diapers and then I've not had to buy any diapers since. We've got the size one she just finished, we've now moved the twos, and I think that by the time we're ready for threes, like all the twos will be used, and I will not have had to buy a diaper, and that is gonna be a game-changer. So, being strategic about how you set things up so that you can start making the most of the opportunities on the front end, I think, is a key piece of the puzzle.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and something else that you want to think about too, a lot of people are quick to, once they start, even before they think about having a kid, if they want to have kids in the future, they start, you know, buying a bigger house and getting like the SUV with the three rows for one baby.

Lauryn Williams:
Like where are we all gonna fit? There was space for that baby before.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, so I mean, just you know, don't be quick to like upgrade your house and your car and start doing all these things to increase your fixed expenses unnecessarily.

A lot of times, you can make it work in a condo or a smaller home, especially until the baby gets to school age, when they need to start going to school. If you want to do public schools, you might need to move to an area that has good public schools. But you know it's not something that you just want to start forcing all these expenses on yourself right away in anticipation of having a baby.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah, and that is a common thing that I saw with my clients as well, is that they get excited, and it's like the excitement causes them to spend more money.

I need a bigger car, I need a newer car, I need a safer car, you know, fill in the blank, like you said, and it's like, nope, the car that you have will be just fine, the seatbelt works, everything you know, there's a seat, and you were never using your backseat anyway. Or like you said home wise, the baby is not like she's four months old right now she can't walk she can't do anything so whatever space I'm in is whatever space she's in or whatever her caretaker that moment is is in. When she starts crawling you know she'll start moving around or and then she starts walking like you need to consider some of those pieces of the puzzle but baby gates and you know I think that Chloe is right with thinking about if you're not in a financial position to be ready to move then get on a five-year plan like by the time my child goes to kindergarten I want to be able to buy a home in this school district or you know fill in the blank with whatever your goal is but don't just jump off a ledge and try to like get into the fanciest neighborhood right now knowing that you haven't saved up for a down payment or you're not financially ready to change homes or your living situation.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah and another thing to think about is your relationship status so I mean there's there's dual income households where maybe you and your spouse or partner are making similar incomes, you know, there's situations a lot of my clients are female breadwinners there's some people who choose to be a single parent by choice you know just depending on the situation a lot of times if you are especially if you're a female breadwinner if you're taking time off work that could affect your career the household finances so really just think about how your status will affect your budget and things down the road.

Lauryn Williams:
Absolutely if you're responsible for everyone and you're adding a plus one and now you're like oh my goodness I'm overwhelmed I'm tired I'm exhausted and I still got to go to work every day you want to make sure you have a good support system in place so like I said understanding like what role your significant other, your partner, you know, your sperm dono,r whomever, is gonna play is going to be a key piece of the puzzle because.

Oh, actually, I'm gonna tell you guys about a book, it's called Fair Play, a game-changer, super important, definitely recommend reading before the child arrives, because it talks about the kind of unspoken chores or jobs that people have, and especially those that fall on the woman. And so thinking about like oh there's a birthday party it's not just take little Sammy to the birthday party it is by the gift you know put the gift in the get by the gift bag paper you know think about little what's out Sammy wants by the theme you know you gotta take a spider-man costume to the party. You take two hours out of your day on a workday or a Saturday whatever the case may be you know there's like 10 tasks that are wrapped up into one thing you just call it “go to the birthday party” but somebody doesn't realize you know all the other ancillary things that needs to happen. And that's where like I think the resentment builds up, is like you feel like you're doing a thousand things because you are, instead of like naming that and kind of splitting those things up with your partner.

Chloe Moore:
Yes so definitely yes relationship and financial advice for sure.

Lauryn Williams:
All right, I talked about a little bit, but I want to circle back a little to thinking about employee benefits and understanding what all is related to the employee benefits when you're having a child or preparing for a child. N ot just health insurance is relevant, there are some other pieces of the puzzle. So for example understanding your leave. Chloe what do you think about or what have you talked about with your clients related to the leave that comes up and what have you seen.

Chloe Moore:
Yes and one of the first things we do is go to their employer and see you know what benefits are available. You know most large companies will have a great you know greatly policy and you know allow you to take several months off and it's a paid time off. But if you work at a smaller company maybe you know that's not the case.

I remember the first company I worked for out of college it was mostly men and so we had our first female employee that had a baby and they had to come up with the maternity leave policy. So you know think about that to you as you're starting to plan for a family, does your company have these benefits? Or as you're looking for jobs and this is something that, you know, you want to have a baby down the line, does your company offer those good benefits.

Lauryn Williams:
And not just maternity leave nowadays, but paternity leave. So we're catering to the mom during the series, but you know, as a mom, you might also want to make sure, like you said, if your spouse is looking for a job, what does paternity leave look like? You know or the person that's not going to be having the child there's a leave related to that, or there may be leave related to that, and how does that work? And maybe you can also plan we're talking about preparing for you to take your leave and then them to take their leave next and that gives you a little bit more coverage with the main caretakers versus you both going back to work at the same time after being home together.

It's just a thought. Like sometimes we would like that time together and then they both go off to work and they have their child care. But sometimes it's better to like I'm on maternity leave and then my spouse is on paternity leave and then someone else steps in and we do you said whether it's daycare or nanny or whatever the case may be. But understanding exactly how that leaves work that works is important.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah and if you want to extend the time beyond what your company provides you, you might you know have the option to take unpaid leave for an additional month or so. But that's something else you have to build into that budget and that baby fund.

Lauryn Williams:
Yes unpaid leave is popular. Like sure go ahead take your time off but we not giving you a dollar for it so figure it out. And then like using your disability insurance as well. You know understanding how FMLA works is another piece of the puzzle.

If you're an entrepreneur like me when you're off work, like there's just nothing coming in period. There is no other way to earn income. I am the job. So as an entrepreneur you have the responsibility of understanding how am I gonna save up to be able to take time off? How much can my business endure? How much time away can my business endure?

And then what does it look like for me to be able to return? What does it look like for me to really be able to focus on my baby and like not check emails at all? You know what that causes my business to implode? Yeah you you've got to be thinking a lot more in advance if you're an entrepreneur about what your leave is going to look like.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and then something else to think about too is just with life insurance. You know obviously if you have a child, if you're having child, you're gonna have a dependent and someone that if something happens to you, you know that person's gonna be affected. So if you have you know pre-existing health conditions or you know things that could get worse you know by being pregnant, you might want to go ahead and start securing life insurance before you get pregnant or early in the early stages of pregnancy so that you know you don't have any complications or things that could affect your eligibility after the pregnancy.

Lauryn Williams:
100%. You know nobody wants to get it. I am actually a proponent, then you know, some financial planners are not, of single people who plan to have children getting life insurance while they're single. Because if you always wanted a significant other or maybe you just always wanted a child, like while you're young, while you're healthy, before you want to have this baby, like get the policy in place. And then maybe you need some supplemental insurance, depending on how life has changed by the time that baby has come along. But having that baseline policy, not knowing, you know, it’s going to be a lot cheaper.

And so, like you said, life goes on. You may have kids later. We're all doing it, a lot of people are doing it later in life. And so the later in life you do it, the more conditions, like “I turned 30 and my knees started to go. Now my hips starting to hurt. ” Then we start dealing with blood pressure. I know, in the African American community, I have friends who are dealing with high cholesterol, high blood pressure, things like that. So while 40 is not old by any means, things that would be taken into consideration as pre-existing conditions, just as time goes on, we’re more likely to break instead of bend. So get that life insurance in place, pre-baby is better than post. But if you’re already pregnant, try to get the insurance policy in place. And they will do policies while you’re pregnant. I’ve done that with client as well before.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, I definitely agree with that about getting insurance while you’re young and healthy. Especially if you anticipate that in the future. Because I’ve had clients wait until the actual event comes or until they’re getting married and they decide to get insurance and then their body starts breaking down. So, things get a lot more expensive once you start having health conditions.

Lauryn Williams:
Nobody wants to do it when they’re feeling good. They’re like “I’m on top of the world.” Until we’re not. Until you wake up with the broke knees one day and you didn’t even break them, they just broke themselves.

But you were just talking about life insurance but I think one of the other things we should talk about is estate planning. Life insurance insures your life if you kick the bucket, estate planning is like all things in capacity, whether you kick the bucket in childbirth. That was the thing I started to obsess about when I was pregnant. Like “oh my goodness, what if I die during childbirth, and I just leave this child an orphan. I’ve got to update my estate planning documents.”

I am one of the few people I think, one of the few financial planners, that has estate planning documents and then young people in general. Like we said, when you’re young, you’re single, you’re just like, “for what?” But everybody needs these documents in place. So I did have these documents and I did update my estate planning documents to talk about what happens should I die in childbirth and to include my child and make sure my child was taken care of. Because if she lives and I die, somebody’s going to have to look after her. And what does that look like from a financial perspective as well.

But all the medical records are important because, like I said, not the only risk you have is dying. You could just be incapacitated. So, thinking about the medical directives is important as well.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, another thing that people have trouble with when it comes to estate planning is, who is going to care for my child if something happens to me? Or, whose going to manage my money on behalf of my child if something happens to me?

When I work with clients that get estate planning documents done after their kids are already here, it’s like they haven’t thought of those things. Like you said earlier, everybody doesn’t have a village around them. So you could have a sibling or someone close to you who lives five or six hours away, or a flight away. So really before you start having kids, try to think about who those people would be that you’d want to take care of your kids if something happens to you.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah, you know, you brought up a really good point, Chloe. What my attorney asked me was like, who's the short-term person to look after your child, short-term guardian, and then who's the long-term guardian. Because, like you said, if you kick the bucket out on a date one night, and there was a babysitter but like the babysitter’s not going to keep your child for five or six days, generally. So where does the child go in the short-term? Having that kind of mapped out. And then what happens over the long-term.

So, I live in Medellín, Colombia. I’m not in the country. I do have friends here. I have a friend who has children, and I asked her, “Would you be the short-term person?” So, my sister would be arriving from another country to look after her for the long-term should me and my significant other pass away. Like I said, I’m on the date night scenario, right know.

So it’s like okay. The babysitter can hand her over to my friend who can keep her for a couple of weeks. I know she’s a great person, a great mom. Then my sister can step in, like I said, once everything gets figured out, and be the long-term caregiver.

So those are the things that, like I said, nobody wants to think about. But we need to think about. And it’s our responsibility now, as parents. You’ve done the deed. You’ve got 18 years and really, you got life with this little being that you created and it’s our job to care for them and be thinking of them all the time.

Chloe Moore:
Definitely. Well, any final thoughts?

Lauryn Williams:
Let’s see, what can I say. The cliché thing that everybody says, you will never be completely prepared to have a baby, even if it’s not your first. You could be five or six times into it, you’re going to learn something new. It’s going to teach you something about yourself in addition to life in general, but what we all can do is be proactive. We can plan as much as possible in advance to be ready. Like I said, that’s what this is all about, is trying to shed some light on some of the things that are relevant to get prepared. So while you will never be 100% ready, do what you can so you’re not having to pivot as much.

Chloe Moore:
As Lauryn mentioned, even if it’s not the first, sometimes you can have multiples. I’ve had friends that had natural triplets and twins, so you go from one to four. So that really changes things and that baby fund has to be super fat to take care of all of them

Lauryn Williams:
Right, yeah, that village needs to be ready to step in. I’ll say, that’s one of the other things, I think we frequently do this. Like older women who want to have children. I’m like “well, if I’m going do it, I hope I just like get twins so I can get it done one time and be done with it.” Honey, baby, the Lord knew better. I would have died if would have given me two or three kids at one time. Like, not the childbirth process, but the actual raising. This little girls has so much personality and requires so much attention, I could not imagine having to feed three at one time. Diaper change, naps. God bless every mother of multiples out there in the world. Be careful what you ask for.

Chloe Moore:
Definitely.

Lauryn Williams:
Alright, what is our money quotes? We always like to wrap up, if you’re a first time listener, with a money quote. Chloe, what did you come up with today?

Chloe Moore:
The first one is: “Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Lauryn Williams:
I like that one. I feel like this is like a great theme for how you want to parent and be thinking about that. Like, we’re talking about preparing for children but preparing for how you want to parent is also a big piece of the puzzle. And while we want to get financially stable, we want to make good financial decisions. We want to leave our children in the better financial decision than our parents left us. I know that I’m not interested in handicapping my child in the sense that she’s born with the proverbial soup-filled silver spoon in her mouth. You know, we want them to understand where these dollars come from. We want them to be organized financially. And for that, if we’re talking about parents, it starts with us being organized. How can you be a good example of how to be a good steward with your money if you’re not a good steward with your money. Your children are going to be looking to you to see how you’re organizing your finances, how you’re spending your dollars, how you’re talking about money. But we also don’t want to handicap them by one, shielding them from the financial issues that we have in life, or two, making everything just go away with money. Or saving them, or not explaining to them how money works. So, I love that one.

Chloe Moore:
I know a big buzzword is generation wealth, wanting to pass on money to their kids and their grandkids and everything. But if you’re passing the money to them and not teaching them how to manage the money properly, it will not last.

Lauryn Williams:
100% Another good quote that we came up with is: “The greatest gifts we can give our children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” — Maria Montessori.

Chloe Moore:
That’s another great one. You know, just talking to your kids about money, teaching them the value of money, how to work hard for money. All of those things will really make a difference when they get older.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah. Alright guys, we’ve helped you as best we can to prepare. Best of luck to you. We’re not leaving you here. We’re coming back with the next episode is going to be like what else do you need to be thinking about after you’ve had children. We’ve helped you get on track with here’s what you need to get ready. Then, what do we actually need to do once the child is here and we’re trying to grow and raise financially raise responsible children. And I think those quotes left us with a good segway to be able to do that.

I also have other great episodes coming your way. We have a traveling mom. We’ve got the mompreneuer. We’ve got the working mom. We’ve got the stay-at-home mom. We’ve got all kinds of moms. So stay tuned and keep your ears peeled. Is that a thing? Can you keep your ears peeled? I guess you keep your eyes peeled but do you really peel eyes anyway? Whatever. Keep listening to the podcast. There’s more good episodes coming.

Chloe Moore:
Alight, we’ll talk to you soon.

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