Lauryn Williams:
Welcome to another episode of the Worth Listening Podcast and more specifically the Know Better Do Better series with my bestie Chloe Moore, my fellow certified financial planner. And in case you didn't know, if you didn't catch the episode that we just did, we talked about having a baby and preparing for having a baby.

But now we're talking about what happens after you have a baby. So this series is all about momming, getting yourself together to be able to parent and like how that is going to affect you financially. So now life got to go on.

You got to keep somebody alive for 18 years at least. But really it's a lifetime commitment. I've just learned that on my own because I have a four month old.

Chloe, welcome to the show.

Chloe Moore:
Thanks for having me.

Lauryn Williams:

So if you're new to our series, at the top of each episode we do Trends, Taxes, and Tea, where we try to save you more, maybe give you a little tea sometimes depending on what's going on in the world, or we just tell you what's trending in the world right now.

Chloe, what do you have for us today?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, so according to a recent report by Investopedia, the American dream now costs over five million dollars per household over the course of a lifetime.

Lauryn Williams:
Wait, what? What is the American dream? Like how do you even say like, I know there's like a catchphrase, but like how do we even quantify what is the American dream?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, so what they did was they surveyed a group of people to figure out what comes up or what makes up the American dream. And so there's eight components.

Of course, you know, each component might differ from person to person, but the different eight factors are retirement, health care, owning a home, raising two children and paying for college, owning a car, an annual vacation, pets, and a wedding. Interesting.

Lauryn Williams:
So if I can retire, I got the American dream.

If I got health insurance, a really basic necessity that most of us need nowadays, owning a home, I can see that. But a lot of people have said that's a, you know, part of the American dream or that's what, you know, what they want to do this the next step in adulting. We hear that from clients all the time.

Two kids, I remember that as part of the like to kind of the quote-unquote original American dream. One boy, one girl, you know, if you you're really living it out. There's no white picket fence on here.

Yeah, that's one thing that's missing, but hey, neither here nor there. A car, I can see that in most metropolitan areas, you know, you need that to get around nowadays. A yearly vacation.

I feel like people are just like on the go all the time. It might just be a result of who I'm following on Instagram, but I just feel like everybody is living their best like five vacations a year life versus like a yearly vacation. And so you're telling me five million dollars it cost and I didn't even cover the last two things.

You have pets and a wedding. Five million dollars between all these things and you only get one vacation. So what does it cost in everybody else? I feel like this is already outdated and it's costing, the American dream is really ten million because I haven't seen a thirty eight thousand dollar wedding among any of my clients.

Like I said, yearly vacation is not a thing. It's usually like five. Owning a home, the million dollars, plus or minus. You live in California, it's easily two million dollars to buy a home. So yikes.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, it's a lot.

And even, yeah, just depending on your lifestyle, the retirement amount is, could be small. So yeah, it's just, it's really interesting to see, you know, how much all these things cost. And we'll put, there's a graphic and we'll put an article and link in the show notes.

But, but essentially to achieve the dream, you need at least to be a part of a college educated dual income household.

Lauryn Williams:
I feel like there's some people that are listening to this right now and already are like, well, I don't want to be a dual income household. I don't want a five million dollar American dream.

Like this sounds crazy. And so as a spoiler alert, we do have an episode coming up for people who are choosing to remain childless and maybe even choosing to be single, depending on what your particular situation is. Like you don't want to be a dual income household.

You don't have plans for that and you don't have plans for children. So like, what about you? Don't worry, we got something coming down the pipeline for, for everybody. Like I said, this is the Momming Series, but there are people who can't or choose not to be, are actually intentionally choosing not to be parents.
some people can't

And yeah, your American dream matters too.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, definitely.

Lauryn Williams:
All right, so let's get into the main topic today.

How these kids fit into this American dream. You have prepared, you know, hopefully done something to prepare for the child. You had at least nine months, maybe found out a little bit late.

So you got eight months. And no, you couldn't even find out that late. It's got to miss a period, then you got to find out you're pregnant, then you got to, it's 40 weeks, which is really 10 months.

That's the other thing that I've never really figured out about the whole being pregnant thing is like 40 weeks in my mind every four weeks. And they're like, no, the calendar doesn't go like that. Anyways, I'm getting off topic.

You now have a baby. So what happens after a baby? I think the first thing we need to consider is expenses that you did not consider before the baby. What do you think, Chloe?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, there's definitely a lot of expenses that come up.

Even if you talk to everyone who's had a baby recently, you think you're fully prepared. There's always things that'll come up that you never thought about.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah, I would say one of those things is the stuff that nobody bought off the registry.

So you stressed out, you avoided it as much as possible. I know I sure did. I was like, I am not ready to make a registry.

My sister came to town and like was like, sit down, let's do this. We can compare it off my registry, which he said, if you're still in the pre process, even though and you're listening to the after process, definitely have somebody help you make the registry. But one thing we probably don't take into account is that not everything has to be purchased.

And so then what do we do if everything wasn't purchased, and you actually need some of that stuff? You can either buy it pre baby, or you'll be in the moment, you know, oh my goodness, we're out of diapers, we only had a whole bunch of size twos, and she's actually size zero. And now we got to go figure out this diaper situation. But you need to be thinking about what happens with the things that you didn't buy on the registry.

And then also be thinking about like, what do we get that we actually didn't even need off the registry?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. And I mean, there's also, you know, there's different ways to approach that if you don't have enough stuff, you can always get hand-me-downs from your friends or family. If you have people in your life who recently had a baby, there are things that you can get secondhand.

If you have excess things, you can sell some of those things that you're not using. If you have a good receipt, you're able to get a refund and use that towards other expenses. So there are some options to help kind of offset some of those expenses.

Lauryn Williams:
Yes, 100%. So like I said, one sell things that you don't end up using. But two, to Chloe's point, like, there's ways to return the items that you got on the registry, as well.

So you might be outside of the thing is like there's some of them are 30 day windows, some of them 90 day windows, if you're using like Amazon or something more popular, you can even return stuff and people don't know that you returned it. So you can, you know, write them a thank you letter for that bathtub and that bathtub is back at the Amazon store and you got a $30 credit for that thing. So just be mindful of making sure that you get the most out of those things versus having a house full of stuff that you never use.

And then the hand-me-downs, I think that was a great tip, Chloe. That has been the game changer for me. I am fortunate enough to have a sister who has a baby exactly one year older than me.

So her baby is outgrowing stuff and she is handing it on down literally. And we actually have a plan for a whole little birthday party theme where we're gonna have pictures of the baby with both children in the same outfit as like kind of overtime. But the hand-me-downs, game changer.

I have bought literally no clothes for my child. Between the registry and the stuff that my sister gave me, I actually have one other friend who has a child that's like one year and one month older, who is also giving me some hand-me-downs. But don't be too proud.

Like you said, they're gonna throw up on it. They're gonna outgrow it after two or three weeks. Your baby does not need all brand new everything.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and hand-me-downs can be a game changer for sure. Another thing that you want to think about, you know, fortunately, you know, we always pray and hope for a healthy, happy baby. But, you know, sometimes people have babies that have special needs or chronic health conditions.

People are having kids a lot older now. And so, you know, that could also lead to some complications or issues with, you know, with pregnancies or with your child. So for some of those parents who do have kids with special needs or health conditions, that can create a whole nother level of expenses that maybe you didn't think about.

Lauryn Williams:
Absolutely. Having to leave work frequently to make sure that your child is at doctor's appointments or physical therapy or speech therapy or, you know, fill in the blank with whatever their particular need is, is one thing that could, you know, start to affect your pay, start to affect your ability to do your job. Because you're definitely going to prioritize your kid.

You know, a child comes along and it turns your world upside down. But one thing that's really clear is like, you know, before anything is going to be my child. That is how most people feel.

And with that in mind, you know, it's going to change the way that you spend your time and in addition to the way that you spend your dollars or even the dollars that you can earn because of like what may be going on. So that brings us back to health care. We talked a lot about that in the last episode.

But making sure you have proper health care in place so that your child can get the best care possible based on their particular situation. Yeah.

Chloe Moore:
Another thing I think about as far as increased expenses is, you know, what are you and your family going to eat? So, you know, there's there's situations where maybe, you know, like breastfeeding is free.

But, you know, I know Lauren, you mentioned last episode about just having issues with that and having to buy formula, which was an unexpected expense. And then also, you know, you might not have time to cook so you could order out more. So that could be an issue as well.

Lauryn Williams:
Yes. So the game changer for me, this is the hack. If you've not had your child yet, or if you've just had it, it's not too late to have somebody organize a meal train.

Basically, what a meal train is, is you get a sign up and there's a really cool website, it's free, you can sign up for and people can sign up to bring you a meal on a particular day. When I tell you when the meal train was on his last day, I was like, Oh my God, what are we gonna eat? I have no idea what we're gonna do the next day. It is a real thing to just like be in survival mode and not be able to really put effort into like, what are you going to feed yourself.

But if you're not feeding yourself appropriately, you know, you don't have the opportunity to make breast milk as well as you do if you are well nourished, because you're not going to be real well rested in this moment. So definitely think about the meal train. But also, like I said, maybe having an additional fund, which we talked about in the last episode as well, to make sure that you can absorb the cost of eating out more versus cooking, if you're a person that does usually cook at home.

Now, if you already had the habit of eating out frequently, Uber eating or door dashing or whatever the case may be, then it might be relatively similar to what you were doing previously. That's something we'll work with you on budgeting-wise later, because we got to get those costs down. But survival of the fittest is a thing, but we also don't want to go into credit card debt while surviving.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. Another thing to think about is travel. So yeah, I know, Lauren, you're a big traveler, so you could talk a little bit about this.

Lauryn Williams:
Yes, I have done, I think I'm at 57 countries. I've kind of lost count, honestly. I need to go look at my little app and see where I am.

But the one thing I said that I did not want having a child to stop me from doing is traveling. And we've been four months stagnant, not moving around, but we are getting on the road soon. Me and little Arya are headed out to New York, Dallas, Houston, and then New York again, all in a period of 10 days.

So yeah, this little girl got to get right or get left. I will leave her a little butt behind, but I don't have to because children under two travel for free. So as you're thinking about setting your budget and figuring out what life looks like with a child, it may be hard to kind of get yourself going in those first two years.

A lot of people, like I said, are tired. They're trying to sleep train. They're just trying to figure out like life, you know, who am I in light of the fact that I now have to keep this human alive? If you can get that all under control and get yourself back on the road or get going, it is going to be more cost effective to do on the front end.

Because like I said, for the first two years of your child's life, it is free 99. I know internationally, I just learned this rule. You do have to pay some taxes, usually like a hundred bucks though.

I haven't had to pay a whole lot, but yeah, where are you going to go as well? The holidays, everybody wants to see the baby. Do you live in a different country or a different part of the country than most of your family? What does that look like to have an additional person traveling with you frequently and how do you prepare in advance for it? Because those two years will go by fast as well. Yeah.

Chloe Moore:
And then also just think about future trips as well. If you're married or if you have a partner, you want to do trips with just the two of you. So you have to factor in the cost of daycare or child care while you're going on a vacation.

And then also if you go on trips with the children or with your child, that's going to add in extra expenses as they get older.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah. I think the extra expenses come no matter what.

And you're completely right, Chloe. You still need some time alone. How are you going to get to the thing that got to the baby making in the first place if you don't have time for each other? I'm always going to keep it real with y'all.

Everybody knows where babies come from. But yeah, if you don't work on your relationship, you don't create time separate of your child, that child will consume your world and that's not good for relationships. So yeah, you got to get out there, got to do the things alone, but also there's a cost of leaving that child behind.

Whether it's grandma coming and flying in and you just paying for the flight or if it's actual, like you said, paid child care, which can get really expensive really quick. You definitely need to be thinking in advance about how you're going to move around and what's going to make a lot of sense. I know for each of the places that I'm traveling, coming up here, I had to get a different child care provider.

And so one of them, I flew to New York. Another one is actually in Dallas. So that worked out great for me.

And Houston is just my sister. And then a friend actually volunteered to fly to New York. So I didn't have that additional cost for the last trip.

But yeah, you never know. Somebody can't afford it. Do you got rich aunties on your team? Or do you need to put that in? Your village is such that they will support you, but they don't have the financial means to be able to pick up and go and come to where you are.

So definitely be thinking about that.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. And that's a great segue into the next topic, which is child care and education costs.

So just think about, do you need a nanny or do you need child care for a period of time? Do you have that support system like family or community that can help out at free or for low cost? And then also, where's the kid going to go to school? There's preschool, there's public school, private school, all those things. And sometimes you have to get on a list right away.

Lauryn Williams:
I mean, and when I tell you that is a worldwide thing that I did not know I had to be prepared for, I was just talking to some friends and they were like, wait, you don't have her on a list for daycare yet? And I was like, we live in Colombia.Private schooling is like one fifth of what it costs in America. I can afford it. I did not think that I was going to have to jump in there.

No, it is like having an additional firstborn to get your child into school. You have to sacrifice somebody. The paperwork that goes into it, it is a very, very serious process here.

And so I have actually started looking into preschools, even though I'm like, I don't even know when I'm going to send her to school. What if I just keep a nanny for the first five years and then send her to school? I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm going to tell you, you need to get on the list now.

You need to figure out, like you said, what school district you're going to live in, because the level of education does matter. And that's another thing I've learned with just having an eight-year-old now. If you don't know a little bit more of my story, my partner has a 17-year-old, an eight-year-old, a seven-year-old, and then we have a newborn.

And the 17 and the eight-year-old now live with us. And so we've been learning all about school systems and understanding what the opportunities are, what exists as far as education. And it's not equal.

I don't think anywhere in the world, like you said, the public education here is not up to par with the private education, which is why private education exists. But you're always going to want to do what's best for your children. But it does come at a cost, and you've got to be able to organize your budget accordingly so that you can actually be able to provide that for them.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and child care can definitely, the price of that can definitely skyrocket. And then you add in private school, if you start with preschool, pre-K, kindergarten, all the way up to 12th grade. I mean, that could be equivalent to college tuition in some cases.

So it can get really expensive. It can cost more than your mortgage in some cases. So it's something you definitely want to prepare for.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah, the number of people that I've talked to are just like, we're just trying to make it until the child goes to school because they got to go to work every day, but daycare is literally a mortgage payment. And so it's like, they have really high costs so that they can go out and actually go and earn money. But basically, all the money they're earning is going right back to child care costs.

And they're just like, please, as soon as school starts, they're definitely going to public school because we need a break from the costs that are related to educating our children or having our children cared for while we're at work.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and that's something else to think about, too. If you do have a dual income household, if you're not both making equal incomes and you have someone that significantly less, is it worth them going to work to basically have their entire paycheck and go to child care? Or is it better for them to stay at home? I mean, that's just something that you have to figure out with your partner.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah, that's an important analysis in the sense that some people just jump in and they just assume like, I'm going to keep on working. And you got to think about that, too, from your own mental health standpoint, your own life goals. And you don't want to lose yourself in the sense that like, oh, I have to stay home because my job is not valuable enough to our household.

But what we've seen a lot of times is that people start to value being the time they can spend with their child. And so it's like, if I'm going to bring home $3,000 a month and $2,000 of it is going to daycare, you know, I'd rather give up $1,000 a month and have that time with my children and know that they're being cared for by me, someone who cares and loves them versus having a stranger, you know, feeling like a stranger is raising my child just to have an extra $1,000 a month coming into the household.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, so another thing we talked about this last time that we want to reiterate is just, you know, thinking about the time and cost of getting a bigger house or getting a bigger car.

But just, you know, don't be quick to upgrade your house and your car right away. You know, just kind of do those things gradually or make sure you're planning ahead as you're making those big purchases, because you could definitely increase your fixed expenses unnecessarily. And that'll just cause a lot more stress.

Lauryn Williams:
100%. You don't need a, you said Tahoe, Denali, Suburban. I love all of those trucks.

That's why they probably came to mind, like, but just because you had one more person join your family, you know, you and your spouse were front seat and passenger seat, and there was three seats across the back for pretty much every kind of car that exists out there. Even if you got a little mini, you can fit the child in the back seat for the time being. Yeah, there might come a point where there's more than one child, or you're the person that's carting people back and forth between soccer camp and, you know, you name it, fill in the blanks sort of thing.

But just don't jump off that ledge too quickly.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. And then even as you're getting a house, if you plan to have kids, or, you know, if you're looking to upgrade your house eventually after the kids, think about where you're located.

So is the community that you're moving into or that you live in family friendly? Are there lots of, you know, kids that your child could play with and go to school with? Is your home in a good school district? All those things matter, and they help with your resale value.

Lauryn Williams:
Absolutely, which I think, you know, we just talked about, like, the idea of, like, the costs related to some of these things. We also need to think about, like, where you're going to earn your money.

Like, we're talking about expenses, expenses, expenses. We need to think about income. You know, your career could change drastically after having children.

And so when I think about this, I think about, like, one, how your career is interrupted when you, you know, have the child. So we talked about paternity and maternity leave in the last episode. But you may be in a situation where you thought, like, the three weeks or the three months or, you know, you name it, whatever time period that was given to you was going to be sufficient.

And now you feel like it's really important that I have a little bit more time. I haven't quite figured out breastfeeding pumping schedule yet. And so, you know, I would like to be in the household a little bit more because the kid is dependent on my boob, as an example.

What does that look like? Can you lose your job after a period of time? You know, is there, like, a period of unpaid leave? How long can you survive on unpaid leave? And then a lot of people say, like, gosh, I didn't know I was going to love parenting so much. I want to stay at home or I want to go have time. I don't want to, you know, continue to do this work that is super stressful, hourly billing.

You know, I don't want to be on partner track anymore at my firm. There's all sorts of different career changes and ways that having a child may affect what you're planning to do as far as your career. And so being able to just, like, sit down, hit a pause button, think about those and think about how they will affect your family financially, but also how they will affect you is a really important piece of the puzzle.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and that's where, you know, just even thinking about your household income as a whole comes in. You know, if you do have a dual income household where you're both making similar incomes or if you're a female breadwinner, I mean, there's a lot of considerations there. If you do want to go down to part time or if you want to stop working for a while, you really have to be prepared financially to make those decisions.

And just in general, you know, women, we often make less than men, you know, and some of this is why, you know, just taking the time off and to take care of our kids and take care of aging parents and just all the things that come up throughout our careers that keep us from, you know, growing our careers on the same path.

Lauryn Williams:
One hundred percent. And as you think about, like, the pace at which we can grow our careers in general, you know, there's also this, like, future earning potential that you give up.

You know, maybe you decide to stay at home until your kids turn five or head to school or something like that. How does that affect the way that you're able to do your job? Have other people replaced you in the workforce that are younger? And so it's harder for you to find work that at the same income level, are you playing catch up or they're like, you've been out of work for us. We're going to start you back at kind of like baseline entry level salary.

Like it really can affect your future earning potential to decide to take that time off. And so even if you do decide, you know, we're going to I'm going to step back for a bit. There may be long term consequences to that step back as well.

Chloe Moore:
And I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad. I mean, we're seeing a lot more of that, too, as women are starting to earn more and be more career focused. So, you know, just really talk to your partner and figure out what's best for your family.

Lauryn Williams:
Yes, yes, yes. The other thing I think we need to talk about is like, you know, general financial planning update. So because you've been listening to this podcast, you have a financial plan.

Me and Chloe are very secure in this. You've got a budget. You've got your debt figured out.

You've got a plan for it. You've got your taxes figured out. You're doing whatever is most tax efficient based on your situation.

You put life insurance in place. You've got your estate planning documents. You are doing a doggone thing.

High five to everybody who is doing the things because of our podcast. Or maybe they were just like responsible adults. But either way, all of that changes when you have a child and you need to circle back and look at it.

So what are some of the things we need to be thinking about, Chloe?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, so life insurance. You know, we talked about this in the last episode. And ideally, you want to get the coverage beforehand just to make sure that, you know, while you're still healthy or you didn't develop any complications or health issues after the pregnancy.

But if you didn't get that extra life insurance, you want to add additional coverage if you need to. So kind of do an analysis and see how much insurance do you need on top of what you already have and start getting that in place.

Lauryn Williams:
100%. I think that is a key piece of the puzzle because what you don't realize about life insurance is that it takes care of people that were counting on your income while you were here after you are no longer here. So often what I hear is kind of a narrative is this idea like, I'm not trying to make them rich because you're like, oh, I'm leaving them with $3 million of life insurance. Yes, that could be game changing overnight.

But really what it was meant to do was replace your $300,000 salary over the course of the next 10 years, like you said, if you're no longer here on the planet. So you need to kind of change the way you think about it. Like, yes, this big lump sum could, you know, cause people to do things that are irresponsible, which is where estate planning comes into play.

That's what trusts are for, making sure that the money is distributed appropriately so that the children are cared for in that way. But yeah, life insurance is definitely a must have, which actually, Chloe, do you want to talk a little bit more about estate planning?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. So again, with estate planning, if you haven't already drafted your documents, this is a great time to update your documents.

You know, really think about who would take care of your children if something were to happen to you, who would be the guardians, you know, who would be in charge of your estate if something happens to both you and your partner. And then something else to consider, as we mentioned before, you know, you might have a child with special needs or chronic health conditions. If you do have a child with special needs, that's something that needs to be incorporated into your estate plan.

You don't want your child to lose out on government assistance or benefits that are available to them because you didn't set up your estate the right way. There's attorneys that focus on special needs planning that can make sure that you have the right kind of trust set up or the right kind of estate plan set up. And then also if you have, you know, grandparents or aunts and uncles that are leaving money to your kids, make sure that they understand too that, you know, that money needs to be coordinated with your estate plan so that, you know, your kids don't lose out on those benefits.

Lauryn Williams:
100 percent. Sometimes people don't realize, like, we're rich. And it's like, ah, but this is a really expensive lifelong commitment.

And so, like, while this money is here, taking advantage of everything that the government gives you is also a key piece of the puzzle. And how it's written matters for what you're eligible for. Yeah, that was a really important point, Chloe.

The other thing I think I'd circle back to is like employee benefits. You know, that is a key piece of financial planning that a lot of people don't take advantage of. And when we think about employee benefits, it's not just like, do you have a 401k or not? Things that exist like dependents and child dependent care, FSAs, things like that, adding the dependent to the health care that you have.

Little pieces of the puzzle like that are really important as it relates to employee benefits. And it's like, have you had a life changing event? Yes, I had a child. And you can, you know, make changes to your employee benefits before open enrollment.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. And then also just updating your beneficiaries, you know, that coordinates with your estate plan. So, you know, if you have a child now, you might have just had your spouse as the beneficiary.

But, you know, do you need to set up like a secondary beneficiary to go to, you know, your kids or a trust or coordinating with your estate planning attorney to figure out how do we need to update these beneficiaries to make sure that my child's included as well?

Lauryn Williams:
100%. What else is there from a financial planning standpoint? We covered life insurance, estate planning, employee benefits. What else did I say? Oh, taxes.

Taxes is an important one. So, when I think about taxes, the same thing. I was just talking about dependent care, FSAs and things like that.

Like now you get to claim these dependents and you're also eligible for various tax credits related to having a little human added to your scenario. So, you definitely want to be mindful of what exists and what you're eligible for and how to make the most of those things. But in addition to that, we talked about on the last episode, so you need to go back.

If this is where you're just tuning in, go back to the last episode because we talked about the One Big Beautiful Bill Act. And one of the things that is actually beneficial is some of the changes that they've made from a tax standpoint related to having children.

Chloe Moore:
And another thing, and if you have a CPA or someone that prepares your tax returns for you, just make sure to tell them.

They usually have a questionnaire saying, has anything changed from last year? Tell them, yeah, we had a baby. So, they can incorporate all of those things and make sure that you're getting all the deductions and credits that you're eligible for.

Lauryn Williams:
I'm going to go on a little tangent here.

Well, it's not really a tangent, it's relevant. But I feel like one of the things that people seldom do is fill out that tax questionnaire. The reason I feel like that is because I was one of those people.

I was just I gave you all these documents, all the 1099s, all the W-2s that came in. I don't understand why I have to fill this thing out. And it's long and it's tedious.

But there are pieces of the puzzle that they're asking you about because only you know that. And your accountant can't catch everything. They can't verbally ask you everything.

And they've got 1,500 other tax returns to do, depending on how big or small the company you're working with is. And so, I would say it is worthwhile to complete that tax questionnaire. Some of the more serious and more reputable companies will say, we're not doing your taxes without it.

That leaves us liable for messing up something because you didn't give us all the information that we needed. And so, while it is not a fun thing to do, it is a necessary evil, which is also why you need to be organized in general as it relates to getting ready for tax season.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and filling out that questionnaire could really unlock some benefits or deductions that maybe you weren't aware existed.

Lauryn Williams:
Or somebody forgot to send you a tax form for something that is relevant to your life. And you need to either go look for the tax form or you just need to, like I said, talk to your tax preparer about it. And then the last thing I think of when I think of the financial planning stuff that needs to be updated now that you've had a child is you might have some student loans that you're figuring out.

Hopefully, you got that straightened out before the child came along. But what a lot of us want to do is create a better life for our children. And that means not having student loans in their scenario, if possible.

Well, how do we do that? Start saving for their college. So, that's yet another expense above and beyond what they need on a monthly basis to kind of keep them clothed and fed and a roof over their head. You've also got to set aside some money in a college savings fund of some sort, which Chloe and I are both big proponents of the 529 plan as a really good option.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah, and just make sure that you balance that with your retirement savings. If you're behind on saving for your retirement, you don't want to go ahead and fund your college savings for your kids because you can't borrow for retirement. You can borrow for college.

Ideally, you want to be able to fund both, but definitely prioritize your retirement savings. And that's something else to think about with your life insurance too. So, a lot of times when we look at how much life insurance do you need, if you have kids and you do want to pay for college, we'll factor in what's a lump sum that we could put into that college fund if something were to happen to you in addition to having money for your family to take care of your kids and save for retirement.

We did an episode about life insurance and how to think about that, and we can put that in the show notes.

Lauryn Williams:
100%. Chloe brought up a point of like, sometimes people are super parents, and they're just like, I'm going to do anything to make sure my child has a better life.

And they end up sacrificing themselves in the process. And what does that end up doing? What they don't think about from a long-term perspective is put the burden of the financial preparations that you didn't make on your child. Because it's like, okay, I saved for my child's education.

They're now college educated, but I have no money saved for retirement. And so, your child gets out of school and you're reaching retirement age, and now you're needing their help financially. And an undergraduate degree just doesn't go as far as they used to.

So, they might not be earning in a way that they actually can meaningfully look after you, look after their kids as the next generation comes along, and look after themselves. That's a term that has come along. It's like the sandwich generation and people that are in their earning years, but having to, one, care for their children financially, in addition to care for their parents financially, because they're not on track for retirement.

So, don't be that person that creates that burden for your child, thinking that you're doing something good by, like I said, prioritizing their needs over your retirement needs.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. All right. So, any final thoughts?

Lauryn Williams:
The one thing I'll say is they say you can never be prepared for when a child is coming, or you can never be prepared to parent. All of that is true. Life is coming at you hard and fast, and you're having to make decisions all the time.

I even remember, just like her being born, and someone was standing over her with a needle, like a big syringe full of liquid. And I was like, what is this? Like, get away from my child. I don't know.

But literally, I mean, it just popped her out. And so, within minutes of my child arriving on this earth, I was already having to make decisions on her behalf. And I bring it up to say, like, you'll never fully be prepared for all the things that are going to come your way.

But parenting is sometimes making it up in the moment and making the best decision you can based on what's going on. We will always make mistakes. You know, that just is a part of life as well.

You probably will not ruin your kid. Like, there's going to be goods and bads for everybody's life. And life is happening for everyone.

So, this is their own unique path. You get to play a star role in it. But you can prepare your finances, even though you can't prepare for it.

Like, I did. I told them, hey, don't get my baby that shot. I don't know what that is.

Like, please step away from her. Like, let's talk about this later. Like, as a matter of fact, give me a couple of days.

Like, whatever it is. Like, if she's not sick and doesn't need this to survive, let me think about it when I feel better. Because literally, she just fell out.

But don't be afraid to prepare as much as you can in advance. You know, hit that pause button if there's something that you're not sure about. And then also, like you said, when you make a decision in the moment to go back and say like, hey, I made an error and this is what I want to do instead.

Or this is the way that I want to get myself back on track. We will all have bumps and bruises as we go along this thing called life. But we need to plan. We need to, you know, use the resources and the people around us. Get yourself a financial team in place to help you make decisions. All these things that Chloe and I are talking about.

One, you know, I'm a new mom, so they're fresh on my mind. But we've experienced dealing with clients. So, there's other people out there that have come before you who have experienced these things that are dealing with them on a regular basis.

And you can get the help of someone so that you don't make mistakes that other people have already made.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. And it's never too late.

Like, don't beat yourself up if you just started really thinking about how this impacts your finances after the baby. You know, just start now and just do what you can to get your finances on track. I love it.

Lauryn Williams:
I love it. All right. Let's close it out with a quote.

“Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” I feel like that is perfect for the little spiel that I just went off on. Like, every day something is coming up that your child can, you know, store.

Even if, like, my baby is four months old right now, she won't remember, she won't be able to verbalize things from four months old. But she's definitely taking in each and every day what's happening and it's shaping who she is. So, don't be afraid to make those good deposits to stop and realize the importance of deposits.

The same way we deposit into bank accounts so that we can grow our savings, we deposit into investment accounts. Think of each deposit that you, you know, put into your child as an investment in them, into their future, and who they will be shaped into being. Do we have one more, Chloe?

Chloe Moore:
Yeah. “The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or material things accumulated in your life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.” And that's by Billy Graham.

Lauryn Williams:
How do you feel about that one?

Chloe Moore:
Yes. I mean, I think it's so important. You know, we talk a lot about preparing your finances, making sure that you're financially stable, that you have a good financial foundation for your kids. But it's also important just to make sure that you're teaching them to build good character and be productive members of society and treat others well.

So, all those things are important and along with teaching them the financial lessons.

Lauryn Williams:
Yeah. Because the reality is, is if you don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, as my mother would say, you know, if you can love your child and care for them, you know, like you said, keep them fed, even if it's just with, you know, something really basic like rice and water every day, you can grow a little Einstein.

You can grow a productive citizen of this world. And that can be your legacy. More money helps, you know, but also more money, more problems.

So, don't forget about the things that are more important than the material things in life.

Chloe Moore:
Yeah.

Lauryn Williams:
All right.

I think we did it, Chloe. We've got some more episodes coming up. So, stay tuned in to the Know Better, Do Better series.

Stay tuned into this overall season where we're talking all things parenting and we will see you all next time. Bye.

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